


No Matter the Number of Miles between Us.

by DustyDesertBoots



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2019-09-30 10:46:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17222561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustyDesertBoots/pseuds/DustyDesertBoots
Summary: Ever since the departure of Sam from National City, Director Danvers has been left soul searching. Were the moments they had together before Sam’s devastating transformation into Reign something more than just fleeting glances or was there a genuine connection between the pair? Alex makes the decision to find out before self doubt consumes her.My take on what could have been a great storyline for Season 3 and my attempt to get back on the writing horse. All mistakes are my own, particularly with pasting into this format.





	1. Realisation

 

Surreal.

That was the word that came to Alex’s mind, when she pinched the bridge of her nose hard between her thumb and forefinger, scrunching her eyes tight shut, desperately trying to put some order to the feelings that swirled around inside of her. With her heart racing from the exertion of a brutal session on the punch bag that now swung gently in front of her, she dropped to one knee and allowed the mix of adrenaline and heavy mix of exercise induced endorphins cocoon her.

Months had passed since the carnage of Reign, the saving of Sam, but time had been too fleeting in her capacity as the new Director of the DEO to reflect on thoughts that she knew that had been packaged up and filed away. Agent Liberty had been her primary source of concern and the xenophobic seeds he had sown into an ever growing distrustful host nation. His incarceration brought no relief, the imbalance remaining in place between beleaguered aliens and emboldened humans.

That source of that friction had just been brought to the fore by the newly installed President, keen to make his mark as a man for the people. His rhetoric, in one of his almost daily video conferences with the DEO, had become very familiar to Alex, _find_ , _contain_ , _secure_ ……, however his statement regarding the DEO’s lack of pace to contain the destruction caused by Reign had been akin to tearing off a band aid to a fresh wound.

Her current frustrations were myriad; her self imposed criticisms of her leadership, the recent loss of Agents, the implanting of a military overseer or the seemingly unexpected and unbelievable request of the President to have Supergirl reveal her own identity. But underneath all of that was this feeling of a lack of closure with Sam.

 

Alex had taken a role in Sam and Ruby’s relocation which had been done so fast, that there hadn’t been time to process the enormity of the moment. It had felt right at the time for all to make a fresh start but so much had gone unsaid or moreover explored. Her thoughts once again took her back to the MRI room when she had scanned Sam and had passed her a lollipop. That look of vulnerability mixed with gratitude and fear had cut right through to Alex’s core.

That same look had been there too when she had given Sam a ride back home and walked her to the door of her townhouse. Alex to this day cannot reconcile why she took Sam’s hand into her own for that short walk; a need to convey to Sam that someone had her back, her natural instinct to protect or the fact that Alex was being inextricably drawn to Sam like a moth to a flame. The reality was that all were very true reasons. The placing of a soft kiss against Alex’s cheek and the squeezing of the hand that encased her own, only served to tattoo that interaction to Alex’s soul with emotions thick as a winter’s valley fog, nestling deep inside her.

The mere mention of Sam’s alter ego was a short circuit to those moments. She had played them over and over in her head when she and Ruby were together, those last moments of consciousness before sleep and the times where she had sat at Sam’s bedside inside Lena’s facility, praying for her to make her way through this.

Those moments had to be pushed further away to prevent them being tarnished when she had briefly hugged Sam at the airport. Alex hadn’t imagined the pressure of fingertips against her rib cage, and before she allowed herself to become intoxicated by Sam’s silent plea to not let go, the softness of Sam’s hair against her skin or the subtle tones of her perfume, she broke away. It was all too much. She couldn’t allow herself to indulge in something, whatever that something was that couldn’t be hers. Not now.

Now, she needed to be strong for Ruby, and she poured the loss of Sam into the hug that she wrapped around the girl whose life had been turned inside out. As they turned to wave their goodbyes and make their way to Lena’s private jet, the group of friends that had brought Sam back, privately hung onto their emotions. They each had suffered, trust between friends had been shattered along the way and now the feeling of loss was being added to the list.

Kara could feel the anxiety roll off Alex in waves and discreetly took Alex’s hand who in turn locked onto it as if it were a lifeline. Their hands didn’t part on the way back to the SUV and it was only when Alex was safely ensconced inside the blacked out cab, did she let the sobs that she had so fiercely kept controlled go. Kara sat silently beside her and continued to hold Alex’s hands. She didn’t pry, didn’t offer empty platitudes, she just sat, silently acknowledging the fact that Alex hadn’t cried like that since Maggie and her had parted. Whatever had torn her sister in two, Kara decided that Alex would talk when she was ready.

That talk had never materialised, but Kara had never missed the spike in Alex’s heart beat if there was a comment about Reign or Sam. Whatever it was, it was raw and Kara knew that Alex had to process in her own way and in her own time.

 

  
With lactic acid settling into her muscles, Alex stood up, the rush of blood screaming through her veins making the rush of its liquid presence felt. Her mind had circled back to the spot that she often reached and that was the lack of dialogue between the tight knit group she had around her at the DEO, Kara or those odd moments she spent with Lena about Sam. It was as if it was safer to not tug at the frays of their own vulnerabilities or misgivings.

Whatever they felt, it was done privately and that was why it was just all too surreal for Alex. How could Sam, the single Mom to Ruby, a powerhouse in her right as CFO of LCorp, who had eased their way into their lives and was considered an inner circle friend be so utterly discarded? Her presence, even as Reign, was similarly skirted around. The development of new tech based on the experience of Reign was never openly attributed and so the almost perpetual silence continued.

Alex however couldn’t let go. She had fallen into the same pattern of behaviour as those around her, blaming the lack of interaction on her newly acquired responsibilities as Director and the sheer volume of activity. The deep seated emotion that lay coiled within her started, slowly but surely to weave its way back into her consciousness begging to be addressed.

She knew better than anyone that to ignore it would just be sheer madness, the damage of PTSD being a reality in her line of work. She had recognised the signs, largely the increased level of drinking and her irritability at work. She couldn’t afford to have a melt down. Her decision, one that she had been dancing around for weeks to make contact with Sam, felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had taken no counsel. Her reflection was based on hours of time spent pounding at the bag, hours of internalising thoughts of, _what_ _if_ I _had…, what should I have done differently?_

 

Alex had no idea what Sam thought about her, she knew that she was eternally grateful for caring for Ruby, but nothing beyond that. It was entirely possible that Alex had created a suite of emotions built on the misinterpretations of a series of moments. If there was one thing that Alex had learned from her split with Maggie, it was to never make assumptions, never let her heart get carried away again on the basis of sheer love alone. There had to be rock solid foundations. Emboldened, Alex knew she had to reach out or succumb to the torture of letting something potentially life altering slip through her fingers. Life as she knew all too well, was too short for her to let that happen.

With her mind made up, she left the gym and made her way to her office, bypassing the shower room so not to lose her any momentum of her decision. She ignored the puzzled looks of her Agents who were not accustomed to seeing their boss, a sweaty mess, stride through the office in only a pair of running shorts and a cropped top. The look of determination on her face was enough to dissuade any who thought to stop her to engage in conversation.

Closing the door behind her, she made her way to her desk and threw herself purposely into her chair and focussed immediately on bringing her screen to life. Sitting back, her cooling skin stuck to the leather upholstery and set off a wave of goosebumps. She looked down at her exposed skin and quickly chastised herself for thinking she was about to call Sam on FaceTime and be half naked for their first interaction. Quickly pulling on a T-shirt, she then ran her hands through her sweat slicked hair to achieve some semblance of a controlled mess. From the corner of her eye, she spotted a number against the Arias surname, paused and before any doubt took her from her chosen path, she pressed the call button.

Hearing the call connect, she anticipated it would ring a few times, ring out even once Sam knew it was her. Distracted by some notes on her desk, she glanced away from the screen and jerked suddenly when a face appeared in front of her.

“Alex!” The excited scream came from one particular Arias lady and it wasn’t Sam. Despite the miles between them, it was as if Ruby was going to burst through the monitor.

_Way_ _to_ _go_ _Alex,_ as she quickly scanned the number; it was Ruby’s. Alex really loved the girl, but she didn’t want to appear to use Sam’s daughter as a way to get to her. The connection had been made and Alex resolved to work her way through this.

Her surprise at seeing Ruby had gone unregistered if the belt fed line of questions and playback of the last few months was anything to go by. Alex clearly had a lot to catch up on and she gladly listened to Ruby’s progress at school and how she was doing with the local soccer team. She smiled and was in awe at just how well adjusted this kid was after everything that had happened. She had really missed her.

Then drifting left to right, Alex saw a figure move behind Ruby out of camera shot, but the voice was unmistakable.

“Hey Angel, who are you chatting with?

“Alex, Mom. She just called.”

Silence followed and Alex’s heart stuttered.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Breaking Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tears off her metaphorical band aid and takes the first crucial step towards having Sam back in her life.

“Alex as in DEO Alex?”

Sam’s voice came through the desk top speaker and the earlier bravado that Alex had felt on the way from the gym started to leach from her. Oh god, what had she done. She literally had popped the lid off Pandora’s Box and there was no way that she could put it back on. What shit storm had she just unleashed. Too many thoughts were spinning to hear the mother daughter exchange.

“Duh Mom. Like how many Alex’s do we know?”

“Hey lady, don’t get fresh with me.”

“C’mon Mom. She’s finally called.”

 

The word finally caught Alex’s attention and stopped her panic from spiralling. What did Ruby mean by that? Alex stared at the screen and from the right came the figure that had caused her sleepless nights and more empty bottles of bourbon that anyone holding a job such as hers or any job for that matter should be drinking.

She saw that they were in an open plan living area, with Ruby sat with her back to the kitchen. Hands were being wiped and the voice that had been chastising moments before, was now being directed at her, joined by those beautiful dark brown orbs almost burning their way through the screen.

 

“Hi Alex.”

Like a tongue twisted teenager, losing their nerve on the way to ask someone out, Alex sat somewhat dumb struck. It was as if the months that had passed without her presence hadn’t existed. The object of her sleepless nights, the endless internalised monologues was right there in front of her, well virtually.

Concern passed across Sam’s face at the woman she knew as strong and fearless, not one lost for words.

“Alex?” Sam’s voice was gentle.

Ruby looked equally perplexed by Alex’s somewhat confused demeanour. Old beyond her years, she looked at her Mom and squeezed her arm as she jumped down from her stool. “I’ll give you guys some space.”

Startled by the movement on screen, Alex was shaken from her paralysis. Those brown eyes that had found their way to her soul looked right at her. How she had missed those eyes and as her brain caught up, she saw the face that they belonged to. There she was, unchanged from the months that had passed, albeit looking less emotionally fraught.

And some how with the power of speech restored, all that Alex could manage was a strangled, “hi”.

“Hi, right back at you. Are you ok?”

 

The words that Alex could use to answer that question were myriad, but instead she folded for something simpler.

“Yeah. I guess. Seeing you just threw me a curve ball.”

“Did you expect that?”

“I didn’t know what to expect to be honest. I didn’t know if you would pick up.”

“Why not Alex?”

“I. I didn’t know if we’d given you enough time. You know.”

“Well, there isn’t really a manual to say how to handle what we went through. But everyday it gets a little easier and I’m not looking at my hands every five minutes to see if any writing is making a reappearance.”

“….and Ruby. How is she coping with everything?”

With neutral territory selected, Alex felt herself relax into what was bordering a conversation.

“She never ceases to amaze me.”

 

The love of a mother washed across Sam’s face and coated her words with pride. In that moment, she looked utterly relaxed and the beauty that Alex had fallen for before all the madness had swallowed their world radiated so much that Alex could’ve sworn she could feel the warmth wash over her.

“After what I’ve put her through, I’m surprised she hasn’t gone off the rails.”

“That wasn’t you Sam.”

“Mmmm, I know, but she saw what looked like her Mom, create hell on earth. But, she’s taken everything in her stride and I have you to thank for that.”

“How do you figure that?”

“C’mon Alex. You took care of her. You protected her as if she were your own daughter. You gave her hope and perspective and I for one will never forget that.”

Alex just looked back and smiled. Ruby had found just as big as part of her heart as Sam had done. The Arias women had really done a number on her.

“You know Alex, I should’ve said thank you sooner. You helped us get our lives back.” The emotion was evident in Sam’s voice and the glassiness in her eyes wasn’t lost on the Director.

Alex changed tack so she didn’t end up following Sam’s lead with the burgeoning tears.

 

“Ruby said finally. What did she mean by that?”

Sam gratefully took the diversion and took a moment to gather her composure, smoothing rogue strands of hair away from her face tucking it behind her ear.

“Well, you know when we left, there was an agreement not to contact me for at least a couple of months.”

Alex’s interest was peaked and she leaned in closer to the screen. “Yeah.”

“Well, Lena lasted a week. She still feels guilty you know, for not coming clean about holding me in the lab, but she was responsible for me going to National City in the first place, so she just wants to make sure we are all settled here.”

The shock was evident on Alex’s face. Their agreement in her mind was tantamount to obeying an order. The lack of discipline she found unsettling and moreover there had been no hint from Lena that she had made contact.

“Kara, was next after a couple of weeks.”

“Kara!” Alex was spinning at that revelation.

“Hey, calm down Alex. She’s needed some closure too.”

Alex was bouncing from one thought to another right now. The fact her sister hadn’t said anything about contacting Sam or the fact that Sam knew that she was Supergirl.

 

“C’mon Alex. It’s highly unlikely that I’m going to be saying that I handed Supergirl’s ass on a plate. In a strange way, I see her as family. She’s the only good thing I know to have come from Krypton.”

“I honestly thought, I would be the first to talk to you……and for the record Reign nearly killed her.”

“Director Danvers are you pissed?” There was genuine mirth in Sam’s voice. “Don’t be, you cannot control everyone.”

“We’d agreed to give you some space, give you some time to feel you again.”

“Alex. Look at me. What has happened has happened. I still have nightmares and I suppose I will for a long time, but after what Reign did, it’s unsurprising. I still speak to the DEO’s psych every week and Lena has found me a great yoga therapist who helps me focus. In fact it has been great to be in contact with Lena and Kara. I need them to be a part of my life.”

The question from Alex was on the tip of her tongue, but Sam beat her to it.

“I need you in my life too, so does Ruby. I can crack calculus any day of the week but biology and chemistry are just a little close to home for me to get into.”

 

Before Alex had a chance to understand just how much Sam wanted of her, Ruby came bounding into the room and into the frame.

“Hi Alex. If you guys are talking does that mean we can start up our homework study again. Please say yes, as I…”

Ruby was stopped mid sentence as Sam playfully nudged her daughter in the ribs. “Miss Ruby Arias, were you eavesdropping?”

The look on the young Arias’s face said it all. “Maybe a little.” Her focus switched back to the screen.

“Pleeeease Alex.”

Alex had to stifle a chuckle at the young Arias’s attempt to look like an adorable puppy. How could she turn either one of these two down.

“Of course, I’d love to, if your Mom is ok with that. Sam, are you ok with this?”

“Do I look as if I have a choice in this… I couldn’t bear the backlash if I said no.”

“Looks like we have a deal. I guess we can start tomorrow if that works for you – shall we say 7 Rubes?”

The high pitched squeal was confirmation enough.

“I guess I had better leave you guys for now. Duty calls.”

Sam looked a little crestfallen that Alex was bringing their conversation to an end, but she understood. Before Alex had time to cut the connection, Sam caught her attention one last time.

“Hey Alex. I nearly forgot to say – nice haircut.”

With a quick flourish of her hand to wave goodbye, Sam signed off leaving Alex with her mouth agape at the unexpected compliment.

Self conscious, Alex ran her hands through her hair, grazing the shaved sides and she couldn’t help but smile. Those damned women she thought, they could play her like a fiddle and she would always be one step behind.


End file.
